Am I crumping? Am I crumping now?

Least favorite female wrestler:

Because isn’t the internet really all about attacking maliciously those who you know are never going to see you face to face?

The WWE had, for a while, this penchant for hiring really beautiful models, and then teaching them how to wrestle.  That turned out weirdly.  Sometimes, you had girls who obviously had no business being inside a wrestling ring, they were obviously athletic, and very nice to look at, but had no innate talent for the ability to convincingly stage fights that looked in the least bit credible.  I’m thinking, among the current roster members, of the Bella Twins, and Aksana.  Those girls all owe something to my pick for least favorite female wrestler, one who has transcended the wrestling business nicely now:

Stacy Kiebler

I don’t think she’ll suffer too much from me picking her for this category.  After all, she’s moved on to a career as a professional actress, and arm-candy for George Clooney.  There’s not a thing in that job description that says she has to convince people that she hates other women enough to want to punch them anymore.  But while she was still a part of the WWE, for a while, she was in the ring, fighting on Mondays and the odd Thursday, and she was just absolutely bad at it.  Long legs and beauty do not make you a fighter.  They make you a woman who looks amazing in miniskirts, and can add to the business of professional wrestling by being attached to an act that needs a boost in attention.  Stacy tried her heart out, but you could tell, especially if you were a long time fan like me, that she really wasn’t suited for being in in-ring competitor.  Not that there’s a single thing wrong with that.

Unless your bosses try to position you as a serious challenger for a title belt, as happened when Stacy took on Trish Stratus for the Women’s World Championship Belt.  Which is a thing that happened.  Personally, I’d rather watch Miss Jackie Moore, who I was never all that much of a fan of one way or another.  That lady had an aggressive streak a mile wide, and legitimately looked like she was trying to beat the daylights out of anyone she attacked in a ring, male or female, twice her size or not.  Stacy looked like a girl in deep over her head, trying valiantly to keep up.

Favorite Angle:

As tempting as it’s been not to get back to this, it’s simply because this one has taken a HELL of a lot of thought.  I could go with things that have made me say HOLY SHIT THAT’S COOL (like The Horsemen offering Sting the chance to back out of his title shot at Ric Flair, and when he doesn’t, turfing him out of the group and beating him to within an inch of his life), things that just flat out made me laugh myself nearly to death (Shane Helms becomes a SUPERHERO!  AND AN INTREPID INTERVIEWER IN HIS SECRET IDENTITY), but I think I have to go with the one that truly shocked me, that I never saw coming, but still made TOTAL sense…and also made a top-level guy officially top level.  Favorite angle?

The Rock becomes the corporate champion.

Survivor Series:  Deadly Game.  Vince McMahon FINALLY had the title off of Stone Cold Steve Austin, and had set up a tournament.  Mankind had an easy ride through the tournament, handpicked opponents, the interference of Vince’s corporate team to get him to the finals, the whole nine yards.  The Rock, on the other hand, had to bite and scratch and claw to get there, overcoming attempted interference, to the delight of the crowd, and ending up walking into the finals against the handpicked Mankind.  Or so we thought.

Vince, during the match, walks to ringside.  When the Rock puts Mick Foley in the sharpshooter, Vince calls for the bell.  Yep, they redid the Montreal screwjob as a wrestling angle, and it WORKED.  It built INCREDIBLE sympathy for Mankind, and solidified the Rock as the number one bastard in the WWE, giving him the world title, and someone else for Steve Austin to stalk, stunner and beat. 

But only after he lost that title to Mick Foley…briefly.  Which is okay, because even a one day reign gets you in the record books.

Favorite Stable: 

“Diamonds are forever.  And so are the Four Horsemen.”

Try as WCW might have, they never made the nWo more important than the Four Horsemen.  For a very long time, the Horsemen were the most important stable in the history of the business.  It was a new idea:  Four guys whose entire job was to protect the World Heavyweight Champion.  The centerpiece was Ric Flair.  The only other absolute constant was “The Enforcer” Arn Anderson, Flair’s right-hand man.  The other parts of the stable were mix-and-match, you could swap them in and out, and the company did, and often.  There was Tully Blanchard, co-holder of the tag0team title with Arn, who I always thought of mostly as the poor man’s Ric Flair.  A lot of people disagreed.  There was Ole Anderson, the tough, old, shoe-leather hardass who was Arn Anderson’s fake brother or cousin.  I’m always sort of confused which.  The best incarnation was Flair, Arn, Barry Windham (possibly one of the best pure athletes who ever worked inside a wrestling ring), and Sid Vicious, who got further on look and muscle than anybody in the history of wrestling. 

Four guys who lived to keep the world title on Ric Flair, and to screw with anybody who wanted to take that title away, and for a very long time, they were the best thing going.

We don’t talk about Paul Roma, we don’t talk about Jeff Jarrett, and we DEFINITELY don’t talk about Chris Benoit, not anymore.